MELTHAM ATHLETIC RESERVES....1
DIGGLE 'A'................................2
GOALS - Simpson (Diggle) 39, Right Winger (Meltham) 82, Brown (Diggle) 87.
DIGGLE LINE-UP (4-4-2) - Gary Pemberton/ Danny Anchor, Stephen Chamberlain, Paul Godard, Scott Longley/ Iain Swallow, Kenny Simpson, Dave Walters, Gareth Godard/ Adam Fitzgerald, Craig Brown. SUBS: Rob Brookes (for Longley), Gary Stott-Holt (for P.Godard), Rhys Thomas (for Swallow).
AN 87th-minute header from evergreen striker Craig Brown spared ten-man Diggle some considerable blushes against struggling Meltham Athletic.
The burly frontman - who earlier, in the changing rooms, bared his testicles thanks to some unfortunately placed holes in his boxer shorts - popped up to glance home a Danny Anchor cross.
No offence to Meltham, who battled hard in the second half, but a draw here for title-chasing Diggle would have felt like a loss.
Diggle dominated proceedings for the most part, but could not convert a raft of chances that would have put the game to bed.
And, as the game wore on and an awful, muddy pitch got heavier and heavier, Diggle began to bicker between themselves and got sloppy.
But let's not worry too much about that - Diggle got the three points, that's the main thing.
This reporter returned from Rome to considerable flak about the Westend match report and comments made in it. Of course, the flak was all good natured - I think!
The two men who copped for the most 'abuse' in that report were Gary Stott-Holt and Adam 'Lights Out' Fitzgerald.
As a reporter, I am used to people having a dig, but I was still going to give them an easy ride this week and pick on someone else.
What a pity then, that Stott-Holt and 'Lights Out' (ask Paco) were at the centre of most of the controversy this week as well!!
Firstly, on arriving at the Hanging Gate, Stott-Holt decided to use the venue's fabulous facilities and went to 'drop the kids off at the pool'.
It must have been a good one as he was in there some considerable time. Only problem was, he was in there that long that when he came out the pub was empty and Diggle were halfway to Meltham!
And now onto Fitzgerald - the pantomime villain.
This reporter was carrying his bag and the Diggle kitbag into the changing rooms. I courteously asked for Fitzgerald to open a door for me. Like a gentleman, he refused (must be the Uppermill FC link), because of the Westend report!
Then, on the pitch, Fitzgerald was red-carded after using some choice language to the referee.
"I didn't say a f***ing thing to the useless c**t," I believe Fitzgerald said afterwards.
Back in Diggle, and Fitzgerald looked like he had changed into fancy dress on the drive back because he now resembled the Elephant Man's uglier brother, thanks to a lump/bruise appearing above his eye.
And to round off a fine afternoon's work, he then threatened this reporter with violence if this match report took the piddle out of him at all.
I think he'll be quite happy when he reads this and finds that he has only been briefly mentioned.
But, joking aside, and to save my face looking anything like Fitzy's next Saturday evening, Fitzgerald is a quality player and a real asset to this Diggle side.
He has also organised a third-team (although I'm sure anyone can come) night out for Saturday, straight after the Heyside game, so bring your gladrags. First round on Fitzgerald.
It will also celebrate Brown's 35th (apparently) birthday. Whether it's his fifth or sixth 35th birthday, I'm not sure.
Oh yeah, the game. Diggle bossed the first half. They created plenty of chances but were kept out by a combination of lucky and good goalkeeping, and some excellent last-ditch defending.
Diggle finally broke Meltham's resistance in the 39th minute when Kenny Simpson chipped the 'keeper from 16 yards after he had just saved a previous shot.
Midfielder Simpson (39) had a good game. But he objects to being called 'veteran' in these reports. So in future we will refer to him as 'old bastard'.
Simpson also looked like a contestant from the TV programme Hole in the Wall, because of a skin-tight body-suit that he wears under his kit.
Meltham should have equalised just before half-time when they were given a very dubious penalty.
Paul Godard raced for the ball with a striker and beat him to it. Godard cleared the ball to safety. The striker then fell over 'keeper Gary Pemberton, who had raced off his line, and the ref gave a penalty, which Pemmy saved brilliantly, down to his right.
Second half and the pitch was clearly taking its toll on the players. Diggle couldn't find a second goal and started to argue with each other.
Gaps appeared at the back and Meltham sensed they could get something from the game.
Then Fitzgerald saw red in about the 79th minute and Diggle knew they were in for a rough ride. Three minutes later it was 1-1.
Diggle were crestfallen, but showed great character to bounce back with Brown's winning goal.
Back in Meltham's impressive clubhouse, a varied menu was on offer for the weary teams, although the lady serving the food was not happy with the watery peas.
She said: "They are usually thicker than that, but I wasn't sure if the game was going to be on." Answers on a postcard please.
MEN-OF-THE-MATCH - Gary Pemberton and Gareth Godard.
