Saturday 6 March 2010

Team: 1. John Pooley; 2. Pete Jones; 3. Murray Hill; 4. Jake Jacobs; 5. Lee Rainford; 6. Ryan Hewitt; 7. Mark Jackson; 8. Chris Moore; 9. Jeff Whittaker; 10. Keith Martin; 11. Wayne Broadbent; 12. Lee Clarke; 13. Ryan Fitton; 14. Bev Mayall.

Quotes:  "Lord Nelson! Lord Beaverbrook! Sir Winston Churchill! Sir Anthony Eden! Clement Attlee! Henry Cooper! Lady Diana! Maggie Thatcher - can you hear me, Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!" (Bjorge Lillelien, Norweigian commentator, as Norway beat England 2-1 in September 1981.)

"Graham Hill! Ammon Wrigley! Geoffrey Dickens! Uppermill Cricket Committee! Phil Woolas! Harry Long! Phil Wiggett! Vic Mayall! Steve Walton - can you hear me Steve Walton? Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of a beating!" (Diggle 2010 version of Bjorge's mad rant).

Match report: Often imitated, never beaten.

Ok, for anyone at the game last Saturday, you would have to agree that this week's quotes don't really reflect what went on at Churchill Playing Fields.  Even Diggle's most one eyed, biased fan wouldn't have said that Uppermill took 'one hell of a beating'.  (To be fair, Richard Devy was doing some scouting at next week's opponents, Honley, so he couldn't give his pro-Diggle view on life.)  The writer has been saving up this quote for the last 3.5 years and thought it best to use it now before he lost all chance to use it!

Back to reality and this was a great advert for the Huddersfield League, albeit a poor display over 90 minutes by Diggle FC.  Diggle emerged as victors on the day, but Uppermill must have taken a moral victory for their performance against their local rivals.

Preparation began early for Diggle with the Manager having to spend £1 to use the Hanging Gate pub's pool table to try and get some basic points across by using the pool balls as a basic tactics board.  How wonderful that football at our level requires the Manager to use a pool table for tactics.  The Manager was 50% successful - his defence got the points; his strikers didn't.

As the game began, Diggle launched into a fragile looking Uppermill side.  That fragility was proven after only 5 minutes as Diggle swept into an early lead when the frequently impressive Mark Jackson crashed home a fierce shot from the edge of the Mill box - 1 - 0 Diggle.  In the first 20 minutes of the game it looked like a question of 'how many' for Diggle as they forced Mill back into their own defensive third. Jackson and Broadbent featured prominently for Diggle and Mill clung on for all they were worth. 

A pivotal moment in the game came just before the 20 minute mark as Diggle were denied a second, and maybe decisive, goal by the ever charismatic, and ever erratic, referee Mr Bob Skeldon.  A Mill defender went down injured (or tired, knowing the player involved!) and another Mill player put the ball out for a throw.  The injured player got to his feet, Diggle took their throw quickly and scored, showing considerable ingenuity in the process.  Diggle ran away to celebrate, Mill showed no reaction, but the ref decided to impose his own justice by disallowing the goal.  There could surely have been no lawful reason to disallow the goal but Judge Bob decided otherwise (imposing his own law of morality) and the score remained at 1-0.

At 20 minutes in, Diggle were in complete control, with, literally, Mill finding themselves unable to get out of their own half.  However, rather like the Slawit game from a few weeks earlier, many of the Diggle team decided that 20 minutes work was more than enough for them, and they then proceeded to labour through the remainder of the game.

As Diggle's performance slumped, Uppermill blossomed, and they gave a performance that their likeable management team of Waterhouse and Barlow must have been proud of.

Mill were clearly not at full strength, and, player for player, were not a match for Diggle.  However, that did not stop them putting in a shift of work that showed that, with the right guidance, Uppermill should be a force to be reckoned with in times to come.

Mill had to be admired in the way that they tried to build their game from goalkeeper to defence to midfield to strikers. They showed patience and skill in trying to build their game and pass their way through the Diggle team.

Mill centre back Walton looked raw and at times reckless, but equally he showed much potential and leadership in trying to get Mill to build from the back.  A player to watch there.  The Mill left back, Fitzpatrick, continues to impress the writer but equally looks to be a talent that will never be fulfilled as his fitness and temperament remain questionable.  In midfield, Mill had 2 young players, (in fact so young they were completing their maths homework just before the game) who had much to admire - brave, good footballers, hard working, brilliant attitudes.  Finally Mill had the always admirable Bobby Greenwood in midfield.  A player who is much, much more than the 'hard work, modest talent' label attached to him.  Greenwood is hard, competent, a clear leader, efficient, mature - much to admire as noted above.

The remainder of the first half was, as they say, end to end.  Or, more to the point, middle to middle:  i.e., Diggle's full backs and midfield served up a diet of crap for their strikers, punctuated by regular offsides by Diggle's over eager beaver strikers; Mill's attacks, carefully crafted as they were, foundered on the rocks of the impressive Rainford and Hewitt in the Diggle defence or were punctured by the honest and aggressive endeavour of Keith Martin in the Diggle midfield.

Half time 1-0 to Diggle; cue mad rant by the Diggle manager: the hung over, fat, clueless boss berated his pompous troops for their limp efforts and demanded a much better effort in the second period.  Net effect was virtually nil.

The second period proved more of the same as the first half: both sides searching out a goal that was never going to come.  Mill had the best of the few chances that were created, but they lacked the quality to convert the 3 good chances that fell to them.

Diggle huffed and puffed through the second half, and looked inferior to Mill when it came to sensible use of the ball.  Greenwood and Walters prompted and prodded their troops and the young men of the Mill team gave an impressive account of themselves.

Diggle's play was characterised by the solid and honest efforts of Hewitt, Rainford and Martin and the occasional, and inspirational, intervention of Mark Jackson. Beyond that, Diggle's play was marked by dreadful pass selection (I mean, really dreadful), an inability to track and combat runners, and a strike force who clearly had no understanding of the offside rule.   It is a basic truism of Diggle: if Pete Jones has a mare, Diggle have a mare.  Suffice to say, the usually reliable Mr Jones had his poorest game for many a month.

As the game wore on, Diggle introduced two of their subs, to limited effect. The most potent contribution was Bev Mayall's scooped shot that grazed the Mill crossbar.

The game ended 1-0 to Diggle.  Diggle were thankful for the final whistle and had chalked up a pleasing, if pretty lucky, win.  Mill went away pointless, but had left an impressive impression on their neighbours - particularly their young players. 

Mill's expansive management must surely ask themselves how such a massive and potentially wealthy club can be so mediocre when it comes to converting their homegrown talent into successful senior players.  Like parasites, Diggle continue to feed off Mill's hive of talent - why so? Uppermill should be asking themselves some very serious questions, but do they ever? Uppermill should not be scratching around in this League, but they are, and, maybe, always will.

Diggle failed to deliver.  Aside from Mark Jackson all of Diggle's 'flair' players completely failed to deliver. Lee Rainford, Ryan Hewitt and Keith Martin - Diggle's 'spoilers' - were outstanding and truly held the side together.

Over and out...............